Small TVs and holes in my socks.

So I found myself wondering today why water, which can sit underground for years on end undisturbed, can suddenly develop a use by date once Evian have stuck it in a bottle and printed pretty little labels for it. Any explanation?

Now, do I have anything to complain about? At the moment... no.

Actually yes, there is. I got woken up again this morning by Jamster who, for some reason, keep texting me stupid offers in the middle of the bloody night. Why? Why do their stupid computers (or whatever it is that sends out these things) always seem to time it for four o'clock a.m. when the sane people of the world are all sleeping and the rest are downloading that fucking frog? Why, for the love of God!!

Also I may have found a competitor for the frog, some stupid bird thingy, check it out. Soon to be annoying the shit out of you in public anytime soon.

Mind you, on the plus side there is this site to try to appease the anger you feel.

Oh yeah, that small TV I mentioned...

Aren't camera phones fun?

I've got a new phone, la di la di la laaaa...

I have you know and it's bloody spiffy, I can tell you.

Samsung SGH D-500 in a sexy black case with a slidey openny thing and 1.3megapixel camera and lots of other clever gubbins that I haven't even looked at yet (although it doesn't make tea which is a disappointment.



Look at it, admire it. Never mind the width feel the quality.

I love this phone, it's my new favourite toy... well after my ipod... and my DVD player... and my PS2.

And my computer.

Okay, I'm a bit of a gadget freek, sue me.

Speaking of ipod currently on mine is Turin Brakes. Try it, you might like it.

"Don't you ever yearn... for change?"

What to do, what to do... I'm on the verge of signing up for an expensive course of education which could, in theory, help me get out of the boring, ten year 'fill-in' job I'm in and into something with prospects and big dosh but I'm umming and ahhing.

Read some comments in a random forum tonight about how Computeach are good/bad/indifferent when it comes to distance learning courses. Okay, they're also expensive, I expected that, but I would hope for the money they would also be good. Having read these comments now though I'm not so sure.

Do I want to go down this road and risk being a few more grand in the hole and a partially complete MCSE course under my belt and still in the same shitty job?

Anyway, much food for thought for me for the coming week. Instead of being down yourselves have a picture I made a while ago...

It's either a singer OR a song. If you can name both then you win nothing but my respect. See it's quite easy really.

Celebrity? Bollocks!

Hey you, yeah that's right, you falling out of a hired car outside a packed movie premier in oh so trendy Soho... yeah you who is famous simply for going out with someone who actually is famous and you let him film you having sex and then it somehow got "stolen" and put on the internet... you're no fucking celebrity, get back to nursing you charleton!

God I hate this new breed of person who thinks that simply being associated with someone famous or appearing on a third rate reality TV show makes them somehow interesting to the general public.

Take that Abi Titmus bint, for example, who as I may have mentioned is only really famous because she happened to go out with John Leslie once and has since revealed herself (literally) to be a dirty tart who likes to get her kit off. What was that stupid tour all about just to promote her calendar? What a waste of time and effort, no wonder hospitals are riddled with MRSA, all the nurses are fucking off to have careers as "models" and "celebrities".

Wouldn't it be better if celebrity types gave up their jobs and got regular jobs like the rest of us. Imagine being served by Jonathon Ross in McDonalds (which frankly might not be too far away) or being treated for lime disease by former nurse Abi Titmus... although come to think about it I have no idea where her hands have been.

And Celebrity Big Brother? Don't get me started on that bunch of Z listers. Kenzie from Blazing Squad? Lisa I'Anson? Bridgete fucking-Nielsson? Puh-lease! Someone should fill the Big Brother house with all these psuedo-celebs and put petrol and matches to good use.

Oh, currently on my ipod is Goldie Looking Chain and they rocks. You fucking knows it, clart!

Another one over and done with then.

Well thats it, yet another Christmas/New Year party season over and done with and what have I learned? Well I'll tell you. I've learned that spending the festive period with the people you love isn't always all it's cracked up to be and sometimes you just want to be left all alone with your thoughts and musings.

Not me however, I had a great Christmas. I met a wonderful, lovely girl a week or so before Christmas, had a fantastic time with her and somehow, through the grace of whatever deity you choose to believe in, she is now my girlfriend. All thanks to the power of the internet and chance meetings in a never before or since visited chat room. I spent quality time with my family including my sister who, since she lives all the way out in Wales, I see once or twice a year and had two very enjoyable evenings with my two closest groups of friends and all with the sexy new girlfriend by my side. As Tiny Tim said, God bless us everyone.

Now I don't want you to think I've gone soft or anything, oh no siree bob, I still hate the hateful things in the world (and some of the not so hateful things, Barney anyone?) but at least I have someone who I can rely on to make me feel happy when I'm down and to cuddle up to when I'm, lonely and she doesn't even need a puncture repair kit on standby.

Although could someone please tell Jamster to stop advertising that bloody Crazy Frog ringtone and please stop texting me at 3 o'clock in the bloody morning with news of new and exciting offers. I DON'T FUCKING CARE YOU WANKERS!

Anyway Happy New Year everybody, hope you all spend it with the people you care about the most.