29? 29?!?! Old age and all that jazz.

Oh woe is me. Woe, woe is me. I've just celebrated (if thats the right word) my 29th birthday and man do I feel old now. A whole weekend of goodness from the delightful lady but still woe for aging.

She did well though, did 'er indoors. I got some of the bestest presents a nearly thirty-year old can have. I got a remote controlled flying saucer (oh yes, dear reader, it is much fun) a Duff Beer neon light, a half yard of ale glass (that was used to excess on Saturday night, my head still hurts) and bestest of all my dear sweet girlfriend won, on ebay, six signed Robert Rankin books. Mr Rankin is a particularly favourite author of mine so imagine how happy I am. She am the bestest.

She also took me out bowling (which she kicked my ass at) and got me drunk and took advantage of me (which she kicked my ass at also).

It's odd, now that I'm *cough*nearlythirty*cough* I'm acting more and more like a teenager everyday, just the other morning I had a strop at my mum and did a Kevin and Perry impression. Do men regress in their old age? Hmmm...

Girlfriend's birthday? A guide on how to do it for the everyman.

So okay, we've all been in the same situation, it's your girl's birthday, you want to impress her and prove to her how much you care but how to go about it?

The main ingredients are always the same, teddy bears, chocolates, flowers but as with cooking the preparation is the important thing. My girlfriend lives a good half hours drive away so as a result we only really get to see each other at weekends. This can be difficult at times because, and I'm not going to be all macho and lie here, I do miss her. Problems arise when things like birthdays or aniversaries crop up in the middle of the week. Such as happened recently.

So I left her house early on the Monday morning wishing her well and that we'd speak on Wednesday so I could wish her a happy birthday and that the following weekend we'd meet up as usual and have a... shall we say erm... well, we'd drink and be merry... and that, as far as she was concerned, was that.

In my mind i was already planning to go over on the Wednesday evening to surprise her and this is how it started. The following day (thats Tuesday, for those of you still reading) I spoke to a friend of hers asking about eateries in and around the Dudley area that he recommended since I was coming down to surprise her. A place picked out and reservations made part two of the plan got under way. Between us we arranged for me to be at his house while he went to fetch her with the promise of some beer, a takeaway and some friends round to celebrate. Things were running smoothly thus far.

Wednesday rolls around and I, armed with a credit card and a vague idea, head to town straight from work. An hour later, presents purchased, and I'm home wrapping. Except I'm not, because I forgot to buy paper so I'm using tin foil for the smaller presents and hoping to come up with something for the biggest teddy in christendom.

Cards written, presents 'wrapped' and flowers purchased I'm sitting in waiting in Dudley expectantly and this is when I make the phone call. I ring the lovely lady, just to 'check in' (I'd already wished her a happy birthday in the morning) and find out what she was up to. I relayed a story about how my shift had been changed for the following day and if I'd known I could have come down to see her. She was, understandably upset and cursed my employers. I wish her all the best for the evenign and hope she has a good night and hang up. Meanwhile, Teddy is upstairs on the bed in the room she will soon be renting with two dozen red roses cupped in his paws and my foil wrapped gifts are in a carrier bag next to me when I hear the car pull up.

So to summarise:

• Supersize teddy bear from Clinton's :- £Undisclosed (she reads this)


• Box of chocs from Woolies :- £4.99


• Roses from the supermarket :- £10


• The look on your girlfriends face when you open the door to her and she realises you have turned up after all when she was least expecting you :- Priceless.

So there you have it I am, officially (according to her) the best boyfriend in the world ever. I'm so happy to be with her, she gets me so big headed I might even start believing her one day. Happy birthday again, sexy. Big kiss.

Howdy doodly

I really have nothing to say at the moment, just checking in really.

I do have to apologise for taking the lovely lady to the football on Saturday. My local team had a bit of a flid on the pitch and seemed to forget what game they were playing. We spent the first half stood in the cold behind the opposition goal. Saw precious little action as all the players were at the other end slotting goals in to our goal. Come half time we all buggered off to the bar and stayed there until full-time. 1-4 was the final score. Bloody disgrace.

Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, sorry babe, I really did think you'd have a better day, looks like you should have stayed at home recovering from the flu after all. Oops.

So that's it really, haven't been doing much else other than mourning the cancellation of Tru Calling by the increasingly out of touch Fox over in the States. Thanks to BitTorrents I can see the final broadcast episodes since Sky won't be showing them and the only way to see them here would be to buy the DVD boxset.

So yes, if you want a rant then mine is at the Fox Corporation... sort yourselves out you morons, you've cancelled one of my favourite TV shows, you big spoilsports. And your Glacier Mints* taste like dishwater so there.

And thats that. Nothing else really all that interesting in my life at the moment but I'm happy, I have a girl I love and who loves me back in return, a job, a car, a house and a nice comfortable sofa in front of a nice big TV, what more can a growing boy ask for?

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*I would like to point out that Fox do not make Glacier Mints, that is an entirely different company. For legal purposes I wanted to make that clear. Although they do taste like dishwater.