I can't be trusted with anything.

Oh yeah, just two weeks with my new phone is all it took for me to break it.

Came round a corner at work, caught the frame of the door with my big fat flabby thigh and in one step destroyed the LCD on the front of my phone that was nestling helplessly in the hip pocket.

The phone whined a little, tried desparately hard to shed light and information from the 64000 colour display and then, with a sorrowful beep switched itself off for good.

How fucking clumsy am I? I did the exact same thing when I was at school with a Casio Databank calculator I saved for that could keep all my phone numbers in which I proudly showed off at school (this was way before mobile phones and even the early handheld devices). I had it for three weeks and sat on the damn thing. I was distraught... well you would be too if you'd saved your pocket money for weeks just to buy the thing.

Thankfully I'm older and wiser now and make sure I insure the nice things that I buy. First thing in the morning I'm off to Vodafone to get a spanking new replacement. Thank god for insurance companies... they rip you off for half your life and come good once in a blue moon.

Bless you Michael Winner, keep selling us useless policies that we may replace our broken things with... you big fat tosser.

Ignoring the shitty quality of my camera look at the fractal-like crack across the screen. Bollocks. Just plain bollocks!